Catching Up!

2/8/11
As I sat in class in ENDS 101 this day, I started thinking about eye contact a little bit more. It seemed like every time I would start to day dream a little bit, Dr. Vanegas would pull me right back in with once quick glance. It is improbable to think that the professor was intentional with his eye contact, as if he knew my focus was fading, especially in a class as large as ours. Yet, time after time I found my thoughts slipping away, each time to be brought back to reality with the quick eye contact. Am I the only one who experiences the heart sinking adrenaline rush when my thoughts are fading? Or is that just a guilty conscience, almost and "I caught ya!" moment? I tried to push aside these thoughts as I went into my next class where I had my first exam in Human Cognitive Processes. Ironic that I am trying to control my thoughts in a class titled that. As I sat, staring blankly at the ceiling trying to picture all of the index cards I had made, I felt the eyes of my professor burning a hole in me. When I brought my eyes down from the ceiling, we made I contact, and again, my heart sank. Does our heart sink out of the automatic assumption that we are doing something wrong? Or is it just human nature that shocks us when unexpected eye contact is made?
That night was also my first time to meet my ENDS 101 group. After attempting my first P90X workout video, I raced to the annex where we met, talked, and worked on the project. This was my first group project in my time at Texas A&M. After finding out that the way I study best is in a cubby at the library, this was a refreshing break for me because I am so socially oriented. We came up with the team #42 name of A.I.D. standing for Aggies In Design. We were able to convey our team information through the use of a paper towel roll to show that we would keeping "rolling out new ideas." It was fun being able to put a motto to our group because I feel like it gives us a common purpose.

2/10/11
Another long Thursday filled with the normal routine: Work, Women's Leadership Forum Planning Committee meetings, ENDS 101, PSYC 345, and more work! In my WLF meeting, the only thing that was dominating my thoughts in this meeting was my long to do list for the event. As I listened to all the discussions about all of the unnecessary details of the event, the only thing I could think about is how much more productive of a use of time it would be for me to be accomplishing my tasks. This led to a train of thoughts of how meetings go in general. Every meeting I've been to consists of the same structure: an intro, a report of what has been done, then a telling of the things that need to be done. Efficient right? WRONG! Human beings are socially oriented, so we all feel the need to comment on the way a task is completed or give our input in some way. This usually leads to a digression that takes about 10 minutes to recover from. My goal is to come up with a new process for meetings that is more efficient on both social and business levels.

2/11-13/11
This weekend I was conducting interviews to select the 3 Executive Directors that would be working under me for MSC LEAD. Friday was filled with application reviews, Saturday was filled with interviews, and Sunday was filled with deliberations and notifications. Throughout this whole process, I found it challenging to accept the fact that I was now the one in charge and that I was the one asking all the questions. It was so strange for me to feel that the tables had turned, and I found it challenging to separate myself from the nerves that the applicants were experiencing. I tried to make the interviews as casual as possible, because countless times I have sat on the other side of the table, anticipating every next question, preparing to deliver the perfect answer. Making the call to inform someone that they did not get the position they applied for is something I never want to take part in again. I have felt the pain of my world being ripped apart after putting my everything into something, then to receive nothing for it. This makes me wonder if this is what it's like to be in leadership positions in general. Does being on top always mean being the one who makes the tough decisions? Because if so, it may not be all it's cracked up to be, and I'm started to believe that the top truly is the loneliest place.

2/14/11
Valentine's Day...... SCREW THAT! It was a day spent with my best friend and we enjoyed a lovely meal at Madden's and then dove into some lovely chocolates!

2/15/11
In ENDS 101 this day, I found myself comparing one of the statement's that Dr. V made to a thought that Blake Godkin had. In the lecture, Dr. V talked about how the 3 components of creativity, innovation, and design were not enough to manage the creativity process because we "kill ideas without giving them a chance." This made me reflect on Blake Godkin's concept of convergent thinking. In convergent thinking we practiced throwing out as many ideas as possible without judging them or cancelling any of them. If we were to apply convergent thinking to all areas of life, how much more could we expand our horizons in every realm, not just creativity?

2/17/11
Another tedious Women's Leadership Forum Committee Meeting was followed by the best class yet in ENDS 101. Through this day in lecture, I learned that I am the Anthropologist, the Director, the Caregiver. I also learned that I am both the yellow and red hats because I am both positive and emotionally involved. This class really excited me because I am student leader. In all of my organizations, I am pushing myself to grow and become a better leader. The better I can understand myself and the dynamics of the way I work ,the better I can communicate that to other people and work together in a team environment. All of these things tie back into my group projects for the class because I know what role I play within A.I.D.

2/18-20/11
A weekend at home refreshed me. Going to be with you're family can make anything better, especially when you are surprising your mom for her birthday! Now back on the grind....

2/22/11
My favorite part about the lecture in ENDS 101 this day was discussing the Systems Approach. In this approach, we discussed how you have to look at the problem from many points of view so that you can identify the REAL problem. In this class, we talk about everything in relation to the topic of creativity. I find that the best part of the material is that no matter what, I can apply it to other areas of my life. The systems approach could be better defined in my life as the Inquisitive Approach. I find that I usually go with my gut instinct before I ever ask any questions. This has been both beneficial and harmful to me. For my life specifically, I feel that if I ask more questions, I not only understand more points of view, but I understand more about all possible outcomes. By taking my revised "Inquisitive Approach," I would be able to make more informed choices. All of these thoughts carried over into my PSYC 345 class where we learned about how different diseases affect the mental capacity for decision making.

2/23/11
Why is the first exam in any class the most intimidating test of the year? Each semester, you get new professors, and each semester, you know that the first exam is coming. The week before an exam in a class lights a fire underneath all of the lazy's students butts and suddenly, they are attending every class and all of the office hours. Does this really even help or is it just to soothe some part of their guilty conscience for not being prepared?

2/24/11
The only interesting part of my day was finishing my ENDS 101 project of "The Next Great Aggie Inventor." I came up with the idea of a scantron dispenser for classrooms because it would be extremely useful and would turn a profit!

2/25-26/11
Whoever decided that it was a good idea to do certified peer education training in sessions last 6 hours then 10 hours has got to be the craziest person ever. After about 2 hours of talking about conflict remediation, things start to seem a little redundant. There are only so many scenarios we can act that could accurately reflect a real life situation. I have learned that the most important part in being a leader in any situation is that you have a to be a good listener. A good listener is not only characterized by their ability to hear and process the things that are being told to them, but someone who truly cares. If you truly care about what the other person says, you are less likely to fall into the human temptation of making every conversation about you. You will listen to the things that they are saying instead of trying to formulate your next question or remark. Another important quality that was taught like beating a dead horse was to only give advice when asked to. I fell like these were all common sense things that they took 16 hours of my life to talk about when I probably could've passed the final exam before ever even taking the course......